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Archive for the ‘A Box Of Musings’ Category

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Knucker Hatch Farms is not responsible for any noxious amounts of Hydrogen Sulfide that may be present in the air on Christmas Day. Knucker Hatch Farms would also like to add that it will not be liable for any mass extinction that may take place due to the toxic levels of Hydrogen Sulfide (as is theorized to have happened to the dinosaurs.) Please send all complaints to Global Warming.

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I love children and how they express their thoughts. When they’re two, the flip flop of words makes their sentences extra memorable. And when they’re six, it’s the bizarre thoughts behind the words that often add the humor.

My cutie-pa-tootie, Faith, has been knocking us over with her new fangled sentences. She’s getting very good at it. Some of her newly coined phrases have become the latest fad among the rest of us. If Faith wishes to sit in your lap, she’ll affectionately say, “I lap you.” Which sounds so close to “I love you”. That we all just say back, “I lap you too, Faithie.” I’ve recently had to turn Faithie’s unexpected requests to nurse again down (she was weaned a year ago). After Hope has finished nursing, Faithie will say “I eat you too Mommy! Pleeeeeaaase.” It makes me laugh every time…in a nervous way.

Meanwhile, Jack just keeps me in stitches. He’s Mr. Question Man. Today, he was reflecting back on a biography about George Washington that we had recently completed reading for school. “Mom? Did George Washington really beat the Redcoats? Well, then why did they meet each other for dinner after the war?” (referring to G.W. and the English General). I mentioned something about having to meet to sign large amounts of paperwork regarding treaties and truces. Never skipping a beat he asked, “So was signing all of those hundreds of papers the Redcoats’ punishment for losing? Because I think that would be a punishment.”

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The other morning…as I attempted to do my early morning chores and quiet time before the children arose… I was foiled by a bad dream. The Queen’s Grace had run into the kitchen with tears and sobs. The dream regarded toys and game pieces at a friend’s house coming to life, and some odd thing about how one of the toys could make two fingers turn into one.  Wish my bad dreams went something like that.

All of this is mentioned simply to set the stage for why we had a talk around the dinner table about bad dreams that night.  Trying to turn something bad into something positive, I lightened the conversation up with how I have flown in my dreams. Many times in fact. In my dreams, I know exactly how to do it, and how my muscles feel as I push against the air.  Mr. Incredible shared that he knew how to fly in his dreams too. According to Mr. Incredible it involves a lot of concentration and is more along the lines of something Neo would do in the Matrix. Until that moment, it had never occurred to me that people might fly different than me in their dreams.

 So, feeling very comfortable with my mode of flying, I piped in.

“You know how I fly?  I FLAP.”

To my surprise, everyone burst out laughing.
You’re laughing too, aren’t you. 

As Tom Builder tried to recover (now feeling very svelt with his mode of flying), my own children shouted,

“You flap???  Like a BIRD? Like you have feathers???”

“Well. Yeah. But I don’t have feathers. It feels like I’m swimming freestyle in the water, but instead I’m flapping in the air.”  More laughter ensued.  Apparently, I’m a third world flier.

flap.jpg

Tom Builder, perhaps feeling a little sorry for my weakness, decided to ask if I had ever tried flying after learning how to do it in my dreams.

Well, NO.  DUh-UH.

Upon which he then confessed that he had.  Picturing a little boy trying to jump off a roof, I asked how old he was when he tried. It was my turn to laugh.  He was in his twenties.

BAHHHH!!!!
That’s an entrepreneur for you. I love that man.

So now, I ask my fabulous Knucker Hatch readers:

Have you ever flown in your dreams?
Care to admit if you flap or Neo?

(Whispering now)

Have you ever tried it?

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August is almost over, and as I sat and reflected today about how well our first month back to school has gone, I had to chuckle at a few moments that come to mind that were good ideas gone bad. As I look at the titles of my August posts….there is a bigger untold picture.

Salt & Corn Meal Pies: They are fun, and they do keep the kids busy. But leave the kids for too long unsupervised with the stuff and they can be dangerous. This month Jack and Grace decided to DUMP their cornmeal pies down the heating vent. Luckily our vent does not go straight down, but has an elbow in it, so I tried my best to vacuum most of it up. However, there is now a constant film of cornmeal dust on every flat surface in the playroom since the remaining cornmeal residue floats up out of the air vent every time the air conditioning turns on.

Embossing: While we did have trays underneath all of our embossing projects, at one point, Grace must have moved her paper off the tray, heating off the lovely finish on our Pottery Barn kids table. There is now, and forever will be, a melted patch of finish on the top of the table.

The 10 Gallon Bug Tank: Remember our last additions? The grasshopper and the cockroach. I’m not sure anyone noticed, but I never mentioned the release of the cockroach. That is because I didn’t. The thought of locating and trying to catch the two inch giant, just didn’t go over well with me at the time of the release date for all of the bugs. So…yep…the poor ugly giant cockroach is still somewhere in that tank, probably dead. I still can’t make myself look for it.

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My children have the ultimate Dork Mom. I can prove it to you.

For my birthday (I’ll be 32), I asked for a microscope. How dorky is that??? What’s even dorkier, is that I think this could be the best birthday gift ever! My birthday isn’t until September, but since this was going to be a major science apparatus for our Fish & Crustacean study, I got to open it last night.

This microscope is a techno-geek dream. If there are any other techno-geek moms, first I’d love to hear from you, and second, if you don’t already have this, you’ve got to get it. I’m referring to the DM-52 Digital Microscope. This is the answer to the age old problem of young children and microscope viewing. Plug this puppy into your laptop or computer and you’ve got an instant big screen look at whatever is on the slide – perfect clarity.

Not only that, but you can capture the image and save it as a .jpg on your computer for printing later. You can even create video.

Ken and I sat for the better part of almost two hours looking through slides last night. (I’m not the only techno-geek)

This was well worth the investment, and I can’t say enough about the freebies the vendor throws in! Visit http://www.microscopeworld.com

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It is safe to say that there is heavy anticipation for Monday morning in the house. And I am pleased that we were able to successfully achieve it – thanks to a little idea from Dad.

Throughout the county, children will be hopping on school buses and heading for their first day to school. For kindergarten, this is an especially important and excitedly nervous moment. I really wanted Grace to be able to share some of that excitement with her own school aged friends, which is why we decided to take a two week break from school and begin the new term when school started in the county.

What helped to achieve the excitement though, was while Grace and Jack could see what new purchases Mommy was pulling out of packages and boxes for the new term, they could not handle or play with them. And in the mornings, when Mom and Dad were still asleep, the playroom has been locked, to prevent any temptation to take a closer look. This has become the equivalent of putting a bunch of slowly unwrapped Christmas presents under the tree and not allowing the children to touch or play with them. Just look, drool and dream.

Grace’s last words tonight in bed were, “I can’t wait until I can play with all of the new school stuff tomorrow.” I can’t wait either.

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